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Tools For Family Members
Resources For Family Members Concerned About an Elder Driver
YOU are “The Family”
Everybody knows somebody wrestling with the problem of how to deal with an elder relative whose driving skills are diminishing. Many adult children can see that a parent shouldn't be driving but delay taking action because it means coming up with alternatives, and in this car crazy culture, that's not easy.
If you are wrestling with this difficult responsibility, we invite you to listen to the stories of adult children profiled in the “Getting Around” documentary (link to streaming video of Michelle, Greg Iverson). Their message, although learned in different ways is unambiguous: “Don’t wait.”
Prepare yourself with tools to help the older driver get a neutral evaluation of their fitness-to-drive, and try to understand the dilemma of driving cessation from the older driver’s point of view.
Your family member may be struggling
with some of these emotional issues:
Equating loss of driving privilege with a loss of personal effectiveness
Discomfort with a perceived shift in social participation from being a "giver" to being a "taker" of assistance
vulnerability and interference by others in their personal liberty
an unsettling redefinition of their
relationship to the family
(Derived from "A Hierarchy of Elder Mobility
Miseries," based on interviews with driving elders in a report
issued by the General Motors Research Department)
Many older drivers realize their skills are decreasing and are relieved to stop driving if other accommodations can be made. Sometimes, it's the drivers license that's most important--they want to carry it in their wallet, but won't insist on driving.
When a person's doctor advises them to stop because of the effects of medications, or a diagnosis that impairs safe driving, it can be more palatable. "Doctor's orders'' can give a spouse the back-up needed to take over driving duties.
"TAKING THE WHEEL"
Starring John Cleese and Patience Cleveland
Written & Directed by David Ackerman
Music by Elmer Bernstein
http://www.takingthewheel-themovie.com
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